Cycle #15

I haven't been posting much about my infertility struggles. Last cycle ended up being a bust. The day of my mom's surprise party I had to get up at the crack of dawn to go in for a monitoring appointment and when they called me with my blood work results later that day I was running around picking up the rental items. I was instructed to trigger that night between 8-10 pm. I actually didn't get home to trigger until after 1 AM because of the party and driving my sister and mom home.
We had a lot of sex, but during my 2 week wait my temps were for shit.  I bought a new box of HPTs and then like an idiot took one of them that day, at like 10 days past trigger and got a BFN. A couple days later I got the same result so I quit taking the crinone (which I discovered costs a fortune!)  With the crinone out of my system my period arrived right away with spotting on Saturday. My beta was scheduled for Monday but I instead converted it to a CD2 monitoring appointment.
Today is CD3, and I have started another round of follistim. At my monitoring apt yesterday I discussed how disgruntled I am. I feel like he is being too conservative because I said I would not reduce. He keeps triggering me too early, in my opinion, before the follies are in the mature range of 18-24mm. Of course my dr wasn't in the office again so I had to have this whole conversation with a Nurse Practicioner, but I told her that frankly, I don't think it is his prerogative to trigger me early because I don't want to reduce. It is up to my OB, etc to make that determination if I ever do get pregnant. Anyway, I am going to do an IUI this cycle, I'm feeling desperate and need to change something instead of just throwing money away. Maybe I am too old to think I can do this on my own. I am going to have to make my peace with not doing this the 'right' wy in the eyes of the church.
My next apt is Sunday. I don't want to trigger if I don't have a follicle at 18mm minimum.
If this doesn't work we'll do one more IUI and then we'll have to reevaluate. Maybe save until next summer for IVF. Or see if DH will reconsider adoption. If this fails, I will potentially have my next CD3 apt on my 37th birthday so I am in full on freak out mode.