St. Peter’s Day

Ever since I learned there is a St. Peter’s fish I have tried to get ahold of some or prepare another white fish for St. Peter’s Day. It is often hot this time of year and fish doesn’t require that much time in the oven so it seems like a good plan. With the quarantine this year we have been totally cooped up and feeling a bit stir crazy. One of Deuce’s Bffs has a family beach house and they were able to shelter in place there for a few months. They are back in town now and I casually mentioned that if they ever have any midweek cancellations that we would live to rent it. I went a couple years ago with my grade school girlfriends and have been wanting to take Mr. W there. Lucky for us they did have a cancellation so we were able to spend 4 nights here.

I had already picked out my recipes for St. Peter’s Day so I decided that we could just prepare it at the coast instead, fresh fish is always appropriate when you are so close to the ocean. The pickings were a little slim in Manzanita as well as a couple other fish markets in nearby towns so we substituted halibut instead. We made this fish and I found this tahini sauce to accompany it. It was my first time making the sauce and it was SO good! Little Miss helped to make the sauce.

We also made an orzo salad to go with the fish and fresh fruit since we knew the kids wouldn’t eat the 

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We also bought a marionberry pie from the local bakery.



In nearby Arch Cape there is the St. Peter the Fisherman parish. T-Bone and I have been there before for Mass on another vacation. I did not get the kids up early enough to go to daily Mass, but we did drive by and enjoyed the artwork outside.

There is so much wildlife to enjoy at our friends’ house. We’ve been seeing tons of humming birds, some bunnies and chipmunks, and today I went to sit in a quiet corner to take a zoom call and discovered a pair of deer right outside!

Boat People

Back in November while sitting in a coffee shop before his OT appointment I asked Deuce what he thought we should get Daddy for Christmas. His answer was an immediate and unequivocal, "A boat!" I laughed becasue Mr. W IS always joking about getting a boat or about how Mr. M needs to buy a boat and take us out in it. I told him that we can't afford for me to buy Daddy a boat for Christmas. So then he asked if we could get him a canoe instead. That actually seemed more attainable and as we googled canoes I realized that I might be able to pull off the funniest Christmas gift ever, especially with Black Friday pricing. So I bought a boat. But I didn't buy any of the accessories for it like oars, life jackets, or a trolling motor because I wasn't actually sure if Mr. W would want to deal with the undertaking of being boat owners.

A comical outing ensued when I decided to save on shipping costs by going to pick up the canoe myself from the store in our pick-up truck while Mr. W was out of town on a business trip and then having to enlist a neighbor who works form home to help me offload it into the garage. And then telling Mr. W that he wasn't allowed into the garage for a month. (We have a detatched garage so this wasn't as unreasonable as one might image.) The children did an excellent job of keeping the surprise. Then on Christmas morning he finally was allowed into the garage after we opened all the other presents and he definitely was not expecting a canoe.

For months Deuce has been not so patiently waiting for Daddy to take him fishing in the canoe. Our schedule has been crazy, and he has been traveling a ton, so the annual Memorial Day camping trip was our fist opportunity to try it out. This year we were at Timothy Lake which isn't so far for the Portland contingent. It only seemed right that Deuce would be the first one to go for a canoe ride with Daddy. The look on his face was pure joy.

Later T-Bone and Little Miss got to go out with him. He was positive he was going to catch some fish and she was super excited to go out. It rained a lot this weekend so after over an hour of them being out on the lake I got a little worried. What if they had capsized? Would it be too difficult to get two children safely out of the boat on the dock? I thought it wouldn't hurt for me to walk back down there to see if I could offer assistance. Good thing I did because T-Bone was pretty miserable and started yelling, "Help me!" when he saw me on the shore. Mr. W asked me if I would take him back with me. Then he decided that he would actually like to get out of the rain too. Then Little Miss was upset because she wanted to stay in the boat and keep fishing.

The next day I got to go out on the canoe too and Little Miss came with us. She really is our Adventure Girl. She couldn't wait to be handed a fishing rod and then later wanted to paddle. She did not think we gave her enough time with the oar. After we went up and down the near shoreline Mr. W wanted to paddle across the lake and then drift back across the dam. I thought that was too ambitious given the clouds. We headed that way a bit and then the sky opened up on us and he agreed to go to the dock instead.

It was really great being out on the lake and I am looking forward to more opportunities to take it out. I think we just might get that trolling motor to help out when grouchy tweens don't want to help paddle into the wind.

In search of nursery furniture

This weekend was the Memorial Day camping trip but I bailed early. I was hoping to make it at least two nights with an escape plan for the 3rd night since I am 33 wks pregnant. However the campsite chosen this year was on the Washington coast and it rained the whole ding dong time. And any time it slightly cleared up, the mosquitoes came out. The clincher for me was that this camp ground's group campsite didn't have it's own outhouse. Instead one had to walk all the way thru the RV section to get to the bathrooms. That's not exactly idea if one needs to get up in the middle of the night multiple times to pee. I'd have to layer back on my clothes, wrestle back into my galoshes, waddle through the dark in the rain to the toilet and hopefully not pee myself on accident. I considered just squatting in the bushes since it was the middle of the night and no one would see me, but I was too worried I'd loose my balance and slip and fall in the mud. Since Mr. W snores through everything I was also afraid he wouldn't hear my cries for help and one of his friends would ed up finding me half naked in the mud. No thank you!

I left after lunch on Saturday and missed out on the Star Wars themed dinner we were planning with the L family for Sunday night. I made some Star Wars sugar cookies in advance with cookie cutters from WS. They turned out pretty cute, and I'm sure there will be lots of Star Wars events in my future with 3 children.

 

On my way home I stopped at HomeGoods when I crossed over into Oregon. We were planning on not getting a new chair for the nursery. The wing back chair and ottoman I had reupholstered for Baby Boy's arrival is in the playroom and I anticipate nursing a lot in it in that room while I watch the boys play. I saw a great photo of a purple tufted chair with low arms in a nursery and it inspired me to find a similar vintage chair for my own nursery. I thought I'd do an in person search while I'm child free since I haven't had much luck on CL. I found this one at HG in a shiny grey and shiny green. I like the tufting, but the back may not be high enough. This one was $399.

Even though it was very sunny in Portland, I was able to talk my mom into going furniture shopping with me. We started at City Liquidators, This chair was an upholstered rocker. It doesn't thrill me, but the price of $279 is not bad.

City Liquidators also has some antiques available . This dresser is exactly what I am looking for for the nursery, a 5 drawer highboy, something with an attached mirror. This turn of the century oak dresser even had most of it's original hardware intact. Unfortunately I have my heart set on an off white dresser that is shabby chic. I couldn't possibly paint over real oak!

We drove out to Bridgeport Village to check out Good Night Room, they closed their Irvington location. There had a mint green glider and ottoman on sale because they were floor models. The chair was about $500. An ottoman would overwhelm the space in our nursery, and the mint green would clash with the green of our walls. But here is the chair in a different fabric with a contrasting welt.

Our last stop was Kitchen Kaboodle. I was really tired at this point, the weather was SO different from that of the camping trip! None of the chairs really worked, This blue velvety chair had arms similar to what I was hoping for, but far too expensive at $770.


What I like best is the Julia chair from Ballards. It has the tufted back and low arms. And even though the comments section has a few complaining about how much smaller it is than they anticipated, it is comparable in size to my Amanda chair in the family room. It's made for short people like me. But so expensive! And I'd have to pay shipping. And none of the custom fabrics are plum. I'll order some fabric swatches, so we'll see. I'm hoping something perfect turns up on CL soon.

Mother's Day Picnic

Our tradition for Mother's Day is to go to a picnic at a park, and we alternate garden years with view years. This year we were due for a garden year and I was planning on going to the Crystal Springs Rhododendron garden; however, the weather forecast was for rain, and I know Mr. W really dislikes getting caught in a rainstorm on a picnic. Since the anniversary of the eruption of Mt. St. Helen's is coming up this week, and I haven't been to any of the new visitor centers since they were opened I suggested a mini road trip to Mr. W. Also Our Little Helper's best friend at school loves volcanoes (dressed as a volcano for Hallowe'en, had a volcano themed birthday) so he is getting into them too.

Everyone thought a trip up to the mountain was a great idea so after Mass we packed our picnic basket and headed up to the mountain. We totally nerded out in the car too. Mr. W recently purchased the 1970s radio version of Star Wars, which is longer than the actual movie and provides lots of back story. OLH really wants to watch Star Wars again, but we worry it is too scary for him, and when we attempted to let him watch it with us, he didn't have the patience to sit through it. Listening to the radio version seems to be a good compromise, and he gets to use his imagination too.

It was a fascinating drive, so much of the vegetation has grown back. I hadn't been up there since the early 80s when we stopped to check out the damage to the Toutle River. I remember we collected some ash in little containers. One can still see areas where trees were knocked down and stripped of everything, but live has returned to the mountain; it is amazing what 30 years can do!

OLH was very interested to hear my stories about being just a little younger than him when the volcano erupted and that I remember being at home with both my parents who were listening to the tv all day. I remembered it being daytime, but it was totally black outside and they kept pulling back the curtains to peer outside. (And by curtains, I mean hippie blankets tacked up over the windows.) I also had memories of walking to kindergarten wearing a little mask over my face because there was ash in the air. But when sharing memories with friends during high school, Ms. Mc pointed out that we wouldn't have started kindergarten until September, and the volcano erupted in May. SO what on earth were my parents doing letting a 4 yr old walk around the neighborhood after a volcanic eruption. When I questioned my parents about it later they said there were still days months after the eruption when there would be ash warnings so that is why I remember walking around with a face mask.

Once we finally made it up to the Johnson Ridge visitor center I felt really bad because I hadn't packed outerwear for the boys and it was drizzly and there was snow on the ground. Whoops! The boys didn't seem to mind at all. They enjoyed the reenactment movie at the center and the light up exhibits.

 

 We also took some photos of the crater, but getting little boys to pose is an effort in futility.

 

 It was too rainy to have a picnic outside so we moved the booster seat so we could all squish into the back of the micro van for a car picnic. We had so much fun, even though I was pretty squished ad lot feeling in my feet.  As a family we can never get enough cheese or fruits.

Showing off his combination of baguette, salami, cheese, and grape.

A crafting table makeover and an adventure

Our master suite has a dressing room which has a shaft of bookshelves and a small closet with in it smack in the middle of the room. I'm not sure why previous owners would have chosen that placement since it blocks a view of downtown, but in any event it is what we have to work with for now. I decided to use the section closet to the bay window as a crafting/sewing work area. Shortly after we moved in I began trolling craigslist on the hunt for inexpensive furniture I could make over to fill in some of the holes in our rooms. I found a small mid century, stained maple, colonial revival style desk which they were asking $90.  Except I read the add wrong, they had 60 in the title because that was the decade he assumed it was. Anyway, by then I had already made a commitment to come out and thought $90 was still reasonable.
It's in good shape and I liked all the curvy lines.

 I began by sanding it down.
 
then I primed it and painted it black to blend with the ebony stained RH dressers we have in the closet.
 
I was planning on reusing the colonial revival hardware, but in an attempt to straighten up, Mr. W lost them in the garage.  I have been trying to relocate them for a couple months now to no avail. I'm about to go pick up some inexpensive silver tone replacements.
I have been searching for an oval backed, tufted side chair I can paint black and have reupholstered in a lavender velvet. Not much luck in the department yet. Every thing I find is either too nice to paint, too expensive, or a pair that I would feel guilty about breaking up.
Last week Ms. Mc invied me to share a sitter with her and drive out to Camas, WA to go antiquing. She had been there with Mr. B a few days earlier and had spied some cute Hallowe'en things thru the window. She is gearing up for her annual Hallowe'en party which this year will be a tea! I was happy to join her. She found some cute amber carnival glass tea cups and saucers and we each got a few black glass pieces. One vendor had the cutest embellished lampshade in their booth. I've been looking online for purple lampshades for the work table. I think I might do this instead with a drum shade.

Camas has a really cute main street with lots of great neon signage. I enjoyed this diner sign.
It was closed, but we think we need to return with the children, there is a great little counter inside where I know little boys would love to sit.
 
The movie theatre has some nice neon too.
 
Once we got back in the car I recognized a man who was walking out of the antique store.  I had seen him two weeks before when Mr. W and I were at the Monticello Antique Mall. He is memorable because he looks like a carnival strong man.

I'm not exaggerating. He was antiquing in a muscle tank. totally tight shorts, a gigantic belt buckle, he has broad shoulders and an itty bitty waist. He has perfectly coiffed dark hair with sideburns and a handle bar mustache. When Mr. W and I saw him the first time I mentioned that I would love to see where he lives.  I imagined that his interiors must be just as fun and unique as he is.
This time he had a regular, but super tight polo shirt with an I heart Jesus belt. I had to call Mr. W right away and he began to badger me into taking a photo of the man. I wouldn't do something so rude. Ms. Mc got all excited once she got in the car and decided she would follow him to take a picture. Fortunately he had already gotten into his shiny red pick up so she couldn't have taken his picture. But by that point she was feeling so adventurous that she decided to follow him in his car! I was mortified! Camas reeks, by the way, because of the paper mill, so the less time we spent in Camas the better. The town is very cute, cute old bungalows, beautiful vistas, but so darn stinky!
At one point I thought for sure we lost him so I was a little relieved. Until she spotted him up ahead. We eventually saw him pull into his driveway. His house was a totally nondescript, 70s snout house. I was a little disappointed, I was hoping he was driving home to something unique and awesome. Then Ms. Mc circled around and drove back past his house trying to talk me into taking a picture of him in his driveway. I could not be convinced.  I hope his interiors are exciting. But I have assure Mr. W and Ms. Mc that we are NOT going back there to peer in through the windows!

Diversions and looking ahead

After my BFN I decided I couldn't wait another day to go to the beach to commemorate my dad's life. I called my mom to see if she could switch around her schedule and since she was able to we all headed down to Hug Point.  This isn't the beach where we spread my dad's ashes, but the trail to the beach is much shorter here so it is preferable while Baby Boy not being entirely independent and neither boy really being able to carry his own weight (or at the very least sand toys.)

It was a beautiful day at the Oregon Coast! So beautiful in fact that I undressed down to my swim suit!  That almost never happens here! The boys had a great time playing in the sand and building sand castles with my mom.

She noticed that we were all three wearing blue today (not intentional) and took a few pictures of me with my boys. Nearly 5 year old boys are very fickle when it comes to photographs.
I love this photo because it was MLH's idea to have me bring his brother over to this driftwood log to pose with him. How sweet!

Hug Point has a little waterfall and these great caves.
After a few hours on the beach we headed into Cannon Beach so that my mom could buy the boys some sea shells and I wanted to go to Bruce's Candy Kitchen to get some saltwater taffy to fill the pinata.They were quite worn out on the drive home.

Then the next day decided to take an impromptu road trip to Seattle after my early morning beta. I wanted to decline the test, but the nurse told me they code it as a medical test not as fertility so it should be covered by my insurance. I still don't see the point since I got a negative HPT, but agreed to come in. Mr. W stayed in the car with the boys and afterward we dropped him off at work and headed north. I wanted to go up to meet a bumpies who were having a get together.I also wanted to hold our friends' ID twin girls and have a visit with Mrs. Z.

The first thing I did when we arrived into town was head to the Space Needle to kills some time before the get together. I thought we'd just walk around a little bit and take a few photos and have some lunch.  But My Little Helper decided he wasn't too scared to ride up it. I'm glad we did, the view was nice and the boys enjoyed the elevator ride.  I haven't been there in forever and would like to return when I have more time to see the Chihuly glass exhibit and what I assume is a Frank O. Gehry building.

Then we rushed over to Kirkland to meet new friends and got to play in the lake which was refreshing considering how hot it was!
We also saw some slugs being forced into manual labor at the farmer's market.  The "artist" calls this Trails of the Northwest.  She covers their tails with paint so that their slim trail becomes the art.

I had decided that it was too long of a drive to do all in one day so Mr. W booked us a room at the Olympic Hotel and the boys and I ordered room service for dinner since Baby Boy never napped.
The next morning we went to visit the Zs and hold some babies. Boy, does MLH want another baby! He has a special relationship with Baby R.
He talks about her all the time!Baby Boy was mildly interested in the babies too, and fortunately not at all jealous.

I got to hold Baby T and she fell asleep on me.  Several times during her catnap I had to mediate between the boys or chase Baby Boy upstairs and carry him, underarm, back down the stairs while still holding a sleeping baby. In this picture you can see me holding the baby while trying to remove Baby Boy from the dining room table
 It was really great practice for me for life with 3 children! It will be a challenge, but certainly do-able. And at this rate Baby Boy will be nearly 2 and a half when a new baby might arrive.
Then the boys and I headed to the Seattle Zoo to round out our diversions before heading home.
It was hot, and I was beginning to feel a little tired, but I think the boys enjoyed themselves, and Baby Boy took a nice nap in the stroller.

I had received a call on Wednesday that my beta was negative, unsurprisingly, and AF showed up last night when we returned from Seattle.  I have an apt this morning.  I'm not feeling  confident on how to proceed this cycle. Here are some options I'm considering:

1. Shut the heck up and listen to my RE's opinion on how to proceed. (Only problem here is that he won't be in the office today, I'll see someone else)
2. I have an entire vial of follistim left from last cycle. Use that and hope that it is enough to get me to having big enough follies this time too. If not I can easily get more at the pharmacy at the last minute.
3. I have been lurking a ton on IF boards and have noticed that many people do a combo of Letrozole and Follistim.  Maybe this would be a good option for me too? It would certainly save some money.
4. Continue with the same treatment as last cycle with ovidrel and TI. I would like to continue with this because it is the the only treatment considered 'acceptable' by the church. So this would really be like my Hail Mary cycle doing TI. One last attempt before I lose all my will power and move on to something else with better odds.
5. Say forget what the church says and do IUI this cycle.  When we started ttc#3 we agreed that we would do 3 cycles of injectibles.  Since we only needed half the meds last cycle we might be willing to do a few more.

I don't know. I'm feeling desperate and overwhelmed. My low AMH is starting to really, really freak me out. I wish my RE were going to be there today.  Mr. W isn't very helpful in sorting through all this.  His opinion is more or less do whatever I feel comfortable with, he is down for whatever. The only firm thing I can extract from him is that we don't have any money for IVF; we need a new furnace.