Fat Tuesday & Ash Wednesday

Mr. W doesn't like me to give things up for Lent when I am pregnant or nursing. When I was pregnant the first time he gave up alcohol so that I wouldn't feel the need to do something myself. I thought it was very sweet. This year I decided I'd give up cow's milk dairy; it's not as extreme as going vegan or even vegetarian. I'm looking at it as an experiment because Baby W spits up SO MUCH that I wonder if there is something in my diet that is negatively effecting him. It might be all the dairy I eat and drink. Even if there is no impact on him, no cheese is still a big sacrifice for me!
With winter sicknesses and her work schedule, it seems like it has been forever since I have seen Ms. Mc and we have gotten our boys together. Originally I was planning on making savory and sweet crepes again. Then it occurred to her that I wasn't pregnant anymore, we could go out for drinks to celebrate Mardi Gras. We could have a grown up night out! I could only be away from the baby for a few hours before I'd need to nurse again, but it would be something. Unfortunately she was unable to obtain a babysitter for the evening. Oh, well, another day with our children would be fun too.
We started out at Cafe Sip and Play in the 'Couve. They have a big play area there in which the children can roam for a small fee and the moms can watch from the cafe area. Our boys are at the age now where we can sort of let them be. It is a nice break. When her youngest M had had enough, My Little Helper wasn't ready to say goodbye to his friends. So instead she invited us over to her house for dinner.
She made a run for take out while I nursed and watched the boys. At some point I heard one of them pass some very loud gas. Then I noticed my son had a wet spot on his bottom. It was pretty small for it to be a pee stain and in the wrong spot. I realized he must have pooped his pants. I was filled with dread. He's never had an accident like that before so I don't pack spare clothes for him. This was not exactly the fun evening I had planned. When I took him into the bathroom to clean him up I discovered it was a shart, no solid material to remove, but his clothes would have to be washed. Immediately. Good thing we have all boys so borrowing clothes is no problem!
Because I hadn't planned on going to her house I also hadn't packed enough diapers. Her youngest had some smaller sized diapers, but they were swim diaps. I've learned from experience that these diapers are only designed for holding solid material in, NOT keeping urine in. What a difference a decade makes! In 2001 I was dancing on the bar at Bourbon Street, a bar on the Upper West Side of NYC. In 2011 I am fashioning a diaper out of a receiving blanket. I am definitely happy and grateful for where my life has taken me, but, wow, has it changed!
This morning we were up bright and early to go to Mass at 7:30 AM. I would never do this to myself, but Mr. W scheduled a meeting for us at noon which conflicts with the school Mass time. I made the mistake of telling my son what was going to happen as we walked up the ailse to get ashes. He didn't like the idea at all and started yelling, "I don't want it on my forehead!!" all the way up to the altar and back to our pew until I pretended to wipe it off him. Sigh! Fortunately there weren't many in attendance at the morning Mass.

Baby fists

Among the things that I love about infants are their little baby fists. Baby Boy keeps his hands balled up into tiny fists all the time. So much so that any dirt or dust that get in there is trapped. Any time I manage to pry his little fist open there is a ton of lint in there. The same thing happened with My Little Helper. Baby fists are just like bellybuttons. Every.single.day. Mr. W has lint in his bellybutton. He wears undershirts with dress shirts, not sweats, and yet he is constantly producing lint in there. I never get lint. Very odd. So as more baby fist is generated, I continue to remove it.
During his sixth week Baby Boy started smiling at us. Genuine, intentional baby smiles make all the hard work and sleeplessness worth it. My days are filled with baby smiles. The only thing better than a baby smile, is a baby smiling at his big brother. I feel so blessed!

I had an epiphany

The day before I posted about moving I spoke with another board member who is a Realtor. I decided that some insight from professionals may help me in making the decision on whether to remodel or move. Is it worth investing more money into this house based upon its location? Should I start viewing larger homes on the market to help me envision ourselves living there as opposed to the bungalow? Our time line is such that we would neither remodel or move for another three years, so would I be wasting someones time to look at houses now?
Perhaps it seems as though I am putting the cart before the horse, but I am a planner. If we are going to stay I need to start the design process, and get an estimate from my former boss for the construction. Even if we wouldn't break ground on the project for a few years, the design could start up to a year in advance. I could get all the finishes ordered in advance; I could start searching for salvage, including the urinal.
There is also the few remaining rooms to which we have done no work. I don't like to do things half assed: the carpet in our bedroom should be replaced, but if were going to tear our the carpet and pad we should paint first, but I haven't painted our bedroom because the painted over wall paper should be stripped first, and I anticipate that the plaster walls would require some repair after that, so something simple becomes much more involved. Therefore I wait until we have the time and money to do it all right the first time. I'd like to know where we will be in the future before I complete these remaining room.
Last weekend we rented a beach house in Tolovana Park; staying at the beach to commemorate my father's birthday has become a tradition for my family. I'd spent most of the week racking my brain about doing fertility treatments or adoption for our next child, when would we start either of those, and how does that impact whether we move or not? The beach trip helped in that Mr. W and I were relaxed enough and had some time to discuss our plans.
And then one sleepless night while I was nursing, I had my epiphany. Even if we convert the basement to living space, the support piers in the basement would only allow for a family room that is half the width of the house. The furniture configurations I have for that room would still be tight to get enough people in there comfortably to watch tv. Does it make sense to add more bedrooms to a house to fit in more children that can't even be adequately accommodated in the living room? The answer I realized is no. Even with more bedrooms, the public rooms in this house are too small. Moving really is the better option.
Yikes! This changes my whole world!

Snow Day

We had a little snow. Portland style snow where it starts to melt away by mid-day. My Little Helper hates getting dressed because he'd rather stay in his jams all day. Even so, I couldn't believe that it took me a long time to convince him to get dressed to play in the snow! As much as I tried to tell him that he won't have many of these snow day opportunities, he wasn't motivated. By late afternoon I was finally able to get him into his snow suit and outside. The light dusting that we did have was mostly melted by then.The crocus coming up through the snow, hopefully this won't stunt them
I think he finally did enjoy it in the end.

St. Valentine's Day

I woke up yesterday morning to my first handmade Valentine's card. Apparently when I decided to go alone to Mass on Sunday Mr. W took that opportunity to have our Little Helper make a card. It had 3 hearts on the front for my 3 guys and a T-Rex and Stegosaurus on the inside. The scales on the stegosaurus were made of hearts. I was very tired, but started to tear up. St. Valentine's Day may just turn out to be my favorite holiday!
I had big plans to have my Little Helper make valentine's for everyone, including his friends, and then drive around delivering them to their door steps. I figured we'd get out of the house a bit and the baby would nap in the car. Well, we are still very cross these days and I had my work cut out for me just trying to get him to make the cards. All he wanted to do was use the glue. We did get two cards made, including Daddy's, but that was it.
We had our traditional fondue dinner. I considered setting a pretty table and even got out the new red, linen place mats I got on super mark down from Williams Sonoma. But everything is being done halfway this year between nursing the baby and entertaining the toddler. Last year we had a special meal in front of the fireplace; this year we gathered round the kitchen table. It did end up looking kind of pretty though, Mr. W brought home some purple tulips which helped to perk up the table. And as always, the fondue was delicious!

Should we stay or should we go?

When Mr. W bought this house in 2000 he intended it to be his starter home and to stay here for 10 years. Well, that time line has passed and he has house fever and is often bring home fliers or sending me links to real estate listings. The problem is that after I moved in and we started making renovations to the bungalow, I got it into my head that we shouldn't move. The location is great, albeit we should have a driveway, and the bungalow is a great size for two people so once we become empty nesters; we wouldn't have to move again. I really hate moving! When I was in high school and my parents moved us from our bungalow in Irvington to our new construction house in Sylvan I acted as if they had ruined my life. Since I was going to St. Mary's I didn't have to even have to change schools, but crossing the river was so traumatic for me.
So back to our current bungalow, I designed all of our renovations with our permanent residence in mind. All that money spent on Bradbury wallpapers, bought with my discount because I was working. All the money spent stripping the near century of lead paint from the originally stained fir woodwork. The extra thick cork tiles in the nursery and hall so that they could be refinished in the future. Switching out the perfectly fine, but mauve vinyl tile in the upper bath for ceramic hex tile. Not to mention the custom built-ins in the nursery. I don't think of houses as investment properties; rather I see them as living , breathing entities that need love. But if wee sell this house would we get anything back from all that we have put into it? Do others even see the value in these things?
My thought was we would convert the basement to living space. We'd add another bedroom, make a proper laundry room, a tv room with a bar which would act as a second kitchen, a wine cellar for Mr. W, and a powder bath with a urinal in it (also at Mr. W's request). Over the years as I designed the basement in my head I realized that in order to have legal access to the basement we'd have to reconfigure the stairs. I decided a small one story addition which would include a breakfast nook and mudroom would allow for the extra space needed for wider stairs. The future basement conversion is what drove all my remodeling decisions in the house. Plus why would Mr. W want to move me now? I was almost halfway finished with this house, did he really want to start all over from scratch in another? Why would he want to do that to himself?
As a way to prevent a future move I created an elaborate list of features that would be required in a new house in order to tempt me to move:
1) A garage, or at least off street parking
2) A fireplace in the master bedroom
3) A butler's pantry (we've got a whole lot of china, glassware, and dishes)
4) A functional sleeping porch
5) Original, stained woodwork (I don't want to live through the process of stripping again)
I assumed these requirements would make it difficult to find thus preventing a move. But somehow Mr. W finds all kinds of houses that meet them. And the more he sends me links to great, old houses, the more I vacillate on my decision to stay here and remodel. Some of these houses are really awesome! More space could really come in handy, especially now that I have two sons and I envision two teenage boys clomping around upstairs in the bungalow.
We've always been of the mindset that it would be fine to have our children share bedrooms. Large families were raised in these modest working class homes, there is no reason why we need to obsess over having a separate room for each child now. In fact, a smaller house would help us cut down on acquiring too much stuff. But boys are big, and what if they have sleep overs? While I have added lots of built-in drawers to their room, there is no closet. Will sloping dormer ceilings, two beds, two desks, and two teenage boys be compatible? We really want a third child so the middle bedroom upstairs, which is currently Mr. W's home office, would function just fine for one child but two others would have to share the current nursery. Unless we move our bedroom downstairs to either the current tv room or the proposed basement bedroom, which means that Mr. W may lose his office.
So many variables! It is such a big decision to make. I just wish I could look into the future to see what is the right choice.

Candlemas

Life after a baby is a little chaotic and because of that I am letting a lot of things go. Candlemas is one of those things. I didn't invite anyone over, I will not be making candles, and I'm not even going to set a fancy table. But what I was willing to do was have tamales for dinner again. Last year I purchased them from Casa de Tamale and I thought a drive out to Milwaukie would provide me with at least one nap. I placed a call in the morning to order. When the woman asked for my name and I gave it she responded, "oh yes! You've ordered from us before!" Now either they have an exceptionally good customer service, or they just don't get a lot of phone orders, because the last time I purchased from them was last year's Candlemas! But in all seriousness, they really do have good customer service. I asked if I could pay for my order over the phone so that when I got there someone could run the tamales out to my car since I have two young children. They were happy to oblige.
We ordered pork asparagus, chorizo and chicken verde. As always our tamale dinner was delicious.