Tuesday, June 8, 2010

12 weeks

Last night was the final night of taking the progesterone suppositories. Thank you, Jesus! My pregnancy symptoms have been so different this time that at first I thought it was indicative that I may be carrying a girl, but realized that it was more indicative of the extra hormone support. During that first month, wearing a bra was incredibly uncomfortable; I really wished that they could be optional. Morning sickness started much earlier than it did with my first pregnancy. The first time I had it months 3-5 which isn't typical. This pregnancy it started in the second month and continues to this day. I am hoping that it wasn't just the progesterone. It would totally suck to be sick for an extra month if it continues through month 5 again.
And I've been exhausted! I don't remember being this tired the first time; how did I manage to get to work?! I feel like the morning sickness was more tolerable the first time. I'm not a morning person so I'd usually be rushing to get showered and dressed for work and never ate breakfast before I arrived at work. So I'd get sick every morning while brushing my teeth and then I'd be more or less fine for the rest of the day. This time I have nowhere to be in the mornings. I just have to walk downstairs and get cereal for me and the boy, so I am better able to combat the actual vomiting. The problem is that then I feel nauseated for most of the day. I haven't decided which is better: dry heaving and feeling great afterward or feeling like I could hurl all ding-dong day. Either way, I'm grateful to be nauseous because it means I'm pregnant.
I had an appointment with the OB today. The baby is measuring well and the back of the neck measurement is in the normal range. We've decided we will decline the amniocentesis. I will only be 6 weeks into 35 when the baby is due. I have lost about 10 lbs since being pregnant. I am of course overweight from my infertility depression eating, so it is not like I am becoming malnourished, it is probably a result of my nausea and small appetite. (I imagine this is what it must feel like to have gastric bypass surgery: I get really hungry but I can only eat a little bit of something and then I am so turned off by it I couldn't possibly eat a 5th baby carrot.) I don't remember losing weight the last time, but I know it was a long time before I started to gain weight.
The only bad part of my appointment today was that I found out that my doctor doesn't like to do VBACs. This makes me sad because I really, really hated my cesarean section. I felt like I was being crucified. And the idea of recovering with a toddler and a newborn is not appealing. Stink!
But all in all things are good. I am convinced that last night I could feel the baby's heart beat. I rolled over on the couch and my hand was on my abdomen and I thought, "That's not where my heart is" I felt a throbbing and when I checked my own pulse they were different in timing and beats. So maybe I'm crazy because it is too early to feel such a thing, but I'm going to continue to feel blissfully ignorant.

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