I have a new lucky number: Eighteen. I am pregnant! It took 18 cycles when trying to conceive our first son and I finally got pregnant on the 18th cycle trying for our second child. When I triggered I had two mature follicles which measured 18.5 and 18 mm. My estimated delivery date is December 18th. So much coincidence leads me to believe that 18 will forever be significant in my life.
I am already 10 weeks along. I had my blood drawn and received my positive beta results on Easter Monday. Alleluia!! Two day later I went in for a second draw and my numbers had more than doubled. I must admit that it is very anticlimactic to find out you are pregnant over the phone from a nurse. I preferred testing when Mr, W was home so we would both see the results on the hpt together. Infertility takes that intimacy away from you.
I found out so early in my opinion. I would have waited until that Friday to test at home, as it was I was only 3 1/2 weeks along. Crazy!!! I began telling all my family right away; we went out to a celebratory dinner with my mom, sister and grandparents that night. Everyone gave me so much support that I knew I wouldn't want to keep a secret for 3 months. If I lost the baby I knew I'd want their support. Marriage is a compromise. The first time we were pregnant Mr. W wanted to keep it a secret until we were out of the first trimester. We first told my parents on my dad's birthday. When he ended up passing before the baby was even born I regretted that he missed out on those first three months knowing that a baby was coming. With so much death in my life in the last few years I decided I wanted everyone to know as soon as possible.
Fortunately there is only one baby growing in there. I knew there was a risk triggering with two. Perhaps because we used injectibles without IUI only one of them fertilized. However at my first ultrasound at 6 weeks the RE wasn't confident in saying that the one embryo he saw was the only one in there. Later in the car I noticed that the ultrasound photos he gave me were labeled Twin A. Great, like I needed that extra stress! But at my subsequent ultrasounds at 7 and 9 weeks the doctors still only saw one babe.
It wasn't until that 9 week ultra sound, where we heard a heart rate of 183 and saw the baby moving its arms around like crazy, that I finally start to get excited. Don't get me wrong, every day since I found out I was pregnant I was saying "Thank you, Jesus!" But I think I was more relieved that I had beaten infertility rather than being conscious of the baby itself. Maybe I was just trying to protect myself emotionally in case of miscarriage or maybe I was still in shock after 17 months of disappointment. In any event I am very excited now and feel connected to this little baby that will be our Advent miracle!
O is for Bagels and O Antiphons
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